It Should Have Missed
by Tigereyes45
Summary: Hawke and her crew were fighting bandits off of the beach when things took a turn for the worst. In the process of defending Kirkwall she loses her closest friend.


"Varric?" Hawke calls out as she turns her head to check on him. He hadn't replied to her joke.

She had seen the arrow heading straight for him but had thought little of it. Surely it would miss. They always miss, or so she thought until she saw otherwise.

Varric fell back as the force of the arrow lodging itself into his left breast. "Varric!" She starts running to him but a bandit blocks her path. Varric was getting up squeezing a hand around the arrow and another on Bianca. That was when another flew past him and he watches in horror only half focusing on her own fight as she fought for a view of Varric. "Anders heal,"

There was a cry of anguish and Hawke watches as a dagger goes through Varric's chest. The rogue who had performed the deed seemed to plunge it in a little deeper before laughing maniacally and disappearing. Maybe that part was in Hawke's head she wasn't sure. It only made her angrier though.

Hawke heard a scream of outrage. Only when she cut the head off of the bandit she had been fighting did she realize it was her. Bethany and Anders were covering her as she ran to Varric. When Hawke made it to him she saw the arrow was still lodged into his breast. Not only that but blood was pouring out of the wound the blade had left. Hawke was pretty sure she could even see where the grooves had sliced him. At some point she was pretty sure fire was raining down around her, one of their spells, but she was too focused on feeding Varric a potion to take.

"Varric come on buddy drink it. You're really hurt."

Varric reaches for her face and gently sets his palm against her cheek. "That won't help Hawke. Maybe Blondie could heal this but I know no darn potion will be able to. Hawke, Aliss," he begins using her first name and it makes her chest cringe.

"Anders! Anders! Hurry!" She's shouting as Varric begins to rub her cheek with his thumb.

"There's something I meant to tell you, but I never meant for it to be this cheesy." Varric chuckles. "Guess I never could get away from the theatrics."

"How are you still talking? Why are you still talking? Varric, you're bleeding out. Shut up for once you fool." Hawke was fighting back the tears in her eyes as he shakes his head.

She feels a hand rest on her shoulder. She could tell it was Anders so all she did was nod without looking away from Varric. She didn't want to look away. He swore as Anders removes the arrow. Hawke pulls him a little closer to herself.

"Hawke, you should know me better than that by now. I'm dying this is the time when the deceased makes a big confession that causes them and their loved ones to realize what fools they had been and to come to terms."

"Don't say that. You are talking to much to be dying. I don't think dead men get to say this much." She tries to joke. Anders hands were over Varric's body now, glowing green and blue. He goes eerily silent after that. Varric's face becomes contorted with pain as Anders heals the arrow wound before moving onto the knife.

"Guess I'm a lucky one."

"Not lucky enough to not get hit with an arrow."

Varric smiles. "Hawke, all jokes aside, no matter how much I appreciate them, I really have something to say."

Hawke bites her lip and rests her head against neck. "Then say it, but don't die."

"I love you Hawke."

She freezes up as she hears the one phrase she thought he would never tell hear from him.

"Hawke really not the best," he heaves, "time to go silent here." He tries to joke but he cries out in pain one last time. He pats her head and Hawke lifts her face. She struggles to raise her head and look at him.

"Hawke we're losing him." When his hand goes limp and she hears those terrifying words Aliss Hawke manages to look. She manages to watch as Varric's hand falls from her brown hair and his beautiful eyes grow pale.

"Varric? Varric come back, please I love you too. Varric! No, no, no, no. Don't leave me alone. Varric no." He was gone and she had said her words too late.

Aliss stares at the grave that marked where her friend lays. He could have been more, she wanted him to be so much more. His family had tried to arrange for him to be buried in Orzammar and when that failed they tried for the deep roads. Hawke had convinced them not to though. He wouldn't have liked it down there for eternity. He could barely spend five minutes within them without complaining and that was only under threat by the others.

Hawke laughs at the memory. She rests a hand on the tombstone and wipes off the dirt on it. As he was a reclaimed author there was always flowers and little gifts around the grave when she came by and she came by at least once a week if not more.

"Aliss?" She looks up to see Varric's mother there.

"Hello ." She greets respectfully. The Tethras family was not the happiest with her at the moment. The year after Varric's death had not been easy and some could only cope by blaming the person who had taken him towards the danger that took his life.

She sits down next to Hawke and holds out a half of a sandwich. "You look hungry." Aliss Hawke takes the half sandwich.

"Starving. You'll be surprised by how much of an appetite comes from staring at a grave."

"I believe the appetite comes from the memories that the grave brings up." She replies as she eats the other half of the sandwich.

Hawke goes silent and turns back to the grave. "Maybe."

"You know he told me a lot about you and not just what he put into his little books. Somehow I knew you would be the death of him."

Hawke looks over to her. "I never wanted him to die."

"We all don't want things to happen, that do. I didn't want my youngest son dead either. So?" She asks giving Hawke a pointed glare.

Hawke looks down to avoid further eye contact. The dwarf woman had a tendency of making sure she felt the guilt during the day that she would only chok herself on at night, sometimes.

"Did you love him?"

"What?"

"My son was clearly enthralled by you. Did you love him as well?" She asks straight and to the point.

"Yes. I still do."

"Did you tell him?"

"I-i didn't get the chance to." Why did she feel like a small child being taught a lesson? Why did she even bother answering this woman? She was Varric's mother. For that she deserve some respect. Even if she was on a bit of a high horse.

"Then that is punishment enough. You'll never be able to tell him. My child has now returned to the stone, even of he never much liked it there."

"Punishment?" Hawke felt confused.

"So maybe now you can stop starving yourself looking at a grave. Eat more Aliss. It would be a shame if my son died for someone who starves herself to death." With that the older woman stands up and begins to walk away. Leaving behind the crossbow shaped grave stone and the sad little bird.

Hawke smiles, "She's right. I should eat more. But I'll never be able to eat as much as Anders. Did I tell about the time he ate the entire chicken I had caught? Aveline almost tore his head off, even Bethany got angry. They chased him around until I pulled out a second one. Of course I had waited and watched the show for a little bit first. That was an interesting night. It would have been more interesting with you there." Hawke leans end and kisses the top of the grave. "I miss you buddy. Don't worry, I'll make sure to live the sad lonely life of a hero until I die. Can't fall short of all your stories after all." She sits there in silence. He would have had a funny quip or such to respond with. "I guess I need a new dashing rogue with a lot of chest hair now. Bethany says she knows one but he isn't a dwarf. Still it'll take a lot for anyone to hold even a candle to you." She leans against the grave and watches as the sun sets. When it was dark enough she knew it had started to rain for her face was wet once more. No matter how many jokes she made or how much time had passed his mother was right. She would never get to tell him. "I love you."


End file.
